Settling In

A lot seems to have happened since my "day of rest" when I last posted. I'm starting to realize that I've already been here for almost 4 weeks, and it's already starting to settle in that I will have to leave the people I've met in about 11 weeks. Ok, so now that I actually did the math, 11 weeks seems like a lot longer than I originally thought. I feel better. Now that I think about it, it's more of a different kind of settling in. I think I'm just now starting to feel at home here. It must have taken those four weeks to get a routine down to the point where things seem comfortable, but then again that might be a bad thing because comfort is the antithesis of change. My whole purpose for doing this experience was to push myself to grow. I wanted to leave here feeling like I have tested my abilities, pushed myself farther than I ever have, and hopefully seen what I am actually capable of. I don't ever just want to be comfortable.

So, before this post takes on an even more unnecessarily insightful tone, I think I will switch back to update mode: We had praise band rehearsal again today, and I am happy to say that I am really excited about singing with this group tomorrow. Last time I rehearsed with the group I felt completely overwhelmed and under-prepared. Today was much more laid-back. It really helped that there was another guy singing my part with me who was able to tell me what I should be doing. I think before I was also afraid to just ask questions when I didn't know what I was supposed to be singing. At one point during rehearsal today the sound guy even said that he had to admit that we sounded amazing. Not only am I learning new styles and new songs, I think that Nikki, the music minster, is really giving me a good example of what it means to give God the glory through music. She is always reminding us that it is not about us or performing, but it is about pointing people toward something higher. I think I've also been struck by the fact that she wants the music to sound as good as it can, but more than anything else, she just wants to make sure that our hearts are sincere. I know that I am going to learn a lot from this internship with her even if most of my active work involved backstage administrative tasks.

Speaking of great internships, last Wednesday was exhausting but one of the best days of the semester so far. Even though I'm doing a lot of administrative work which sounds boring I am glad that between my two supervisors they keep me busy the whole time. So, I did a lot of that sort of stuff throughout the day, but then the afternoon was spent preparing for and running the first youth group of the year. I'm starting to learn that youth ministry involves a lot of random tasks. We "tested out" the skiball machine for a good twenty minutes to make sure it was working. I also got to put up more holds for the rock climbing wall and of course we had to try it out for a good fifteen minutes. Then the kids started to come. I was pretty nervous just because I felt like Sunday School hadn't gone so well for me. I wasn't sure if I was going to get introduced this time so I just did my best to meet as many kids as I could however awkward that turned out to be. I showed a few kids what was up at the ping pong table. It's a good thing that Middle School kids are right at my skill level. I did finally get introduced formally along with the other leaders. I think that helped me not to feel like just some creepy guy wandering around the youth room. Throughout the night we ate some food, listened to Mike give a devotion and played some volleyball. All in all I think it was a great time. I'm excited about the possibility of becoming even more involved. Mike has told me that he wants me to eventually do everything that he does like leading games, giving devotionals, etc. I'm starting to feel comfortable, but I know that I am ready to start pushing myself.

Tonight I had to attend a traditionally African American church service. It was interesting and powerful to say the least. We were there for nearly two hours, but it honestly didn't feel that long. I was truly impressed with the welcoming spirit, the powerful music, and the inspiring message. I thought going in that it would be weird being white and attending a predominantly black church service, but the only weirdness I felt was when they made the visitors stand so they could pray over us. Even that in all it's awkwardness was a very nice gesture on their part. The service as a whole almost makes me reevaluate my own church-going traditions. Why isn't there more Spirit and power in the serviced I usually attend? Why don't people respond to the worship in my home churches? Why don't I see a large number of people taking vigorous notes and making marks in their Bibles when my preacher preaches? It seems like in people's minds this sort of behavior is limited only to black people and their traditions. Personally I think they're on to something here that we should all share in. If nothing else it does make for a good laugh trying to picture that scene at my home church. Ha!