Let's Play Some Kickball

I was asked to do an admissions event out at Camp Laurelville over this past weekend. Basically, I just had to go to this weekend high school retreat, set up a table, tell kids how sweet Bluffton is, and then just hang out. It was a pretty good experience, especially getting to know some of the other college reps talk about their own college experiences to the high schoolers. I think the thing we all agreed on was how crucial the visit was to our decision. Until I visited here, I thought I wanted to go to BGSU but when I got here for the tour I remember thinking "Wow, I didn't know college could be like this." I always had thought of college as being surrounded by millions of people all the time and not really knowing any of the professors or even a fraction of the other students. I feel so blessed that God led me here. Some people are all about the huge college experience and that's fine for them, but Bluffton just fits for me.

Anyway, I told the kids how sweet Bluffton was for a few days, then I ducked out early Sunday morning so I could be at Eastminster (the church where I interned) for worship. It was great to see everyone and be back in a place where I've just felt like God was definitely alive and moving. The sermon was actually one of the best I have heard probably in years. Pastor Paul actually quoted from one of the books we are reading for my favorite class this semester, Disicpling and Mentoring. Part of the sermon was about "cheap grace" that is so often offered by the church that is detached from any sort of discipleship. Like I did while I was living there, I went down after worship and taught the men's high school sunday school. We got to talk about the sermon and what the true cost of following Christ in our lives is. I'm not sure if anything really stuck with those guys, but I definitely felt like God was working in bringing me back for that one Sunday where I could talk about the things we were learning about in class. If nothing else, it was good to be welcomed back so warmly.

Tonight in Bible Study we watched a Nooma Video and talked about how God has a perfect will for our lives even when we don't see it or realize the good things we have. The video was about a kid not getting the toy he thought he wanted, but instead getting the kickball his dad knew would be better for him. I think I realized how much of a "kickball" my experience in Pittsburgh was. Before I decided to do the semester, it seems like I had applied for, or tried out for, or hoped for a ton of different things that just one by one fell apart leaving me crushed. It was only the fact that I didn't do any of those things, however, that I was able to go to Pittsburgh and really find some great direction for my life. Then, thinking about this made me think about prayer. Sometimes I feel like my prayers just turn into shopping lists of things to ask God to help me with. Over time this really just turns the relationship inward and makes it into something that's just about what I can get from God. I think it's ok to ask God for help in all sorts of things, but in the end there needs to be a recognition like Jesus portrays in the Lord's Prayer of "thy kingdom come, thy will be done". I think I'm ready to give up my crappy toys and start playing some kickball.

Here's to Living

I'm taking a couple classes this semester that are trying to get us to look back at our past experiences in order to understand where we came from and why we are where we are. It's always fun to look back and remember the stupid stuff we used to do. Does anyone else remember pogs, or maybe the yo-yo fad that happened for awhile? How about the fact that I secretly thought boy-band music was really catchy but was too much of a man to actually buy any CD's (don't judge, you know you probably know most of the words to songs like "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys). That's all well and good, but once we get past the stupid music, and the goofy clothes, and the bowl-cut hairstyles, I can start to actually see the things that have made me who I am. In the class Discipling and Mentoring we're talking about our faith experiences and what it was that brought us to know Christ. Some people had hell-fire-and-brimstone experiences that scared them into faith while others had less dramatic experiences. I realized that the recipe of my faith began with something like: one part fear of damnation, one part Jesus is my buddy, and two parts everybody else is doing it. But since I've been in college I've realized how selfish that recipe was. I wanted to be saved, I wanted a friend who would love me unconditionally, I wanted to be liked by everyone else so I went along with the crowd. The class, however, is really challenging all of us to think of Jesus' mission in terms of "The Kingdom of God". What does that mean? It means there is a whole world out there that is hurting. There is a whole world out there that needs to know Gods love. It means that my faith may be something that starts within myself, but it cannot stay there. Being in college has really opened my eyes to the fact that the world doesn't really revolve around me (yes, it took this long to figure that out).

But I think that is what college is all about, opening your eyes to the world. Last semester when I was in Pittsburgh we talked a lot about how the rich don't even know the poor because they have removed themselves so far from them. While I was there, suddenly the poor were our neighbors, they were the people that went to our church and rode our buses (ok, so I personally didn't ride the bus but other people did). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think the biggest thing Bluffton has done for me is helped me to realize that there is a more to life than just what I can get from the world. In honor of yesterday I will end with a little something from the Rev. Dr. King:

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." Martin Luther King, Jr.


Here's to living.

I'm Back, Baby!

I think that since I've been back at Bluffton I have been asked "what is it like being back" at least 4 or 5 times a day. Maybe if I answer it publicly I won't have to sit through another of the same conversation. How does it feel to be back? It has its ups and downs. I don't think it has really hit met yet that I'm not actually a part of the community I found back in Pittsburgh. Sure, they assured me that I'm welcome back anytime and how much they're going to miss me. It's just a guess, but I'm pretty sure life will go on in Pittsburgh without me. Someone else will run the game at youthgroup, someone else will send out the invoices for the music lesson, someone else will stand in the back and sing with the praise band. I can't let that discourage me though because am I also sure that I will be missed, and I will be welcomed back. At least I hope so, since I am getting the opportunity to pass through Pittsburgh and will be there in a few Sundays. As for the ups of being back on campus, I think they're evident. I definitely missed a lot of my friends. Two of my good friends are planning on doing semester abroad programs next fall, so I keep telling them we have to fit as much fun into this semester as possible. Other than that, it's nice not to have to cook for myself or drive every day to an internship. I also missed getting to know all the freshman this year. There are so many faces on campus that I have never seen before and that makes me sad.

My roommate who normally leads Sunday Morning Worship got his wisdom teeth out this weekend, so he asked me if I wanted to lead this morning. I was a little apprehensive just because it was my first week back and I felt like I was still getting settled, but then I realized that I was just letting fear try to dicatate my life again. So, I did it. I was really pleased with how well it went. Throughout the week I tried to find a good balance between freaking out to make sure everything would be perfect and allowing the Spirit to work. Derick, my roommate, always seems to just kind of throw things together last minute and it always works out really well. I, on the other hand, need to plan. Not because I feel like everything has to be perfect, but because I feel like God always deserves the best we can give Him. I tried to mentally get myself to the place where I didn't actually care what the band sounded like but was more worried about how sincere we all were. Honestly, I don't know if I got there completely, but it was good that I wasn't freaking out about everything being perfect when my wireless mic decided to stop working as soon as I went on stage. I just stole the guitarists mic and life went on. (He sings loud enough to not need a mic anyway.) In the end, we praised God, had some fun, and I learned a little about what it means to lead the worship band. I guess it is good to be back...baby!