Riley Creek

This past weekend was the Riley Creek Frestival. They hold it every year during one of the last weekends of the school year, and in my four years it has gotten progressively more awesome. I don't remember the first two years being that great, but the last couple years they have had inflatables and live bands and booths for student groups to do games or activities. The inflatables are really the best part. I remember as a kid always loving to do the Bouncy House at carnivals and things, but now I get to do them as a college kid. Back then you couldn't quite get a good bounce because you weighed about 10 pounds, but now I can get some air with my 160 pounds of college kid.

The other single best part about Riley Creek Festival is getting to see everyone with awkward sunburns the day after. Luckily this year was another good one in terms of weather, but there were a lot of racoon faces for a couple days. Bring on the summer. The festival ended by showing the movie "The Goonies" on a big inflatable movie screen they put up out on the lawn. I'm not sure why drive-in movie theaters have gone out of style because watching movies on the lawn here at Bluffton has been some of my favorite movie experiences.

In other news: My finals weeks should be a piece of cake, but this last week of classes right now is kicking my butt. Everything seems to be culminating into this four day stretch, but it is nice that I only really have one thing due each day. Part of me wants to do the whole senioritis thing where I only half-heartedly do these last projects just so I can make it to graduation, but so many of these things I have to do are things that I want to do well. We only have one more SNW and I have to do that well. I have a paper for my senior capstone class that I want to do well on not for the grade but just for my own edification. I have to write a speech for May Day that I want to do well on and say something meaningful to the parting class. And amidst all this I'm waiting to hear about a job I applied for which will probably largely determine the course of the rest of my life. Nothing big...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will make your paths straight
(Prov. 3:5-6)

Here's to learning to trust.

Break? What break?

For the past couple of weeks it seems like I've just kept pushing things off and thinking to myself that I would do them over Easter Break. Now that that break is finally here, I am still having a hard time getting motivated. I feel like I've had senioritis since I was a sophomore, but now it's really kicking in. Part of me wants to just kick myself in the pants and make things get done so I can spend the next couple weeks just relaxing and sucking all the fun out of my last college experiences. I know that will never happen though. I just can't seem to make myself write a paper until the deadline is impending.

I was supposed to work on stuff all day today, but one of my friends asked if I wanted to hang out with him and his parents who had come down to watch his track meet tomorrow. I am never one to pass up a chance to swim (even if it's at the Comfort Inn), so I went. We ended up playing games all afternoon, going to dinner in Lima, and hitting up the pool for a little when we got back. After I hung up the phone telling my friend that I'd hang out with him and his parents I realized that the experience had the potential to be really akward, but it was anything but awkward. I think it was the "break" I needed to spur me into actually doing work. It was relaxing, fun, and a hot tub was involved, so now I'm all set to do some homework. Woot!

Love is in the air...

...not in my own life, but I was blessed this last Saturday to make it to the wedding of two of my good friends who graduated last year. Mary and Scott didn't start dating until late in their college years, but when they did I think everyone who knew them thought what a great couple they made. They are both just really great people and it was good to see two such great people joining their lives and being so happy about it. It was such a classy wedding and reception, but of course since it was Mary's wedding it had to be fun too. Mary was always big into making up dances and performing them with her friends, so of course her and all the bridesmaids had something prepared. What was surprising was when a few of the groomsmen busted out their own secretly prepared choreography. All in all it was a great time.

I almost thought I wasn't going to make it, but Saturday morning I woke up and had reclaimed my left nostril and from there on out I've continued to feel better. I've seen a number of people across campus with the same sickness who are getting better at different rates, so I feel blessed to have gotten over it so quickly. It probably doesn't help, though, that some people I know are sick and still manage to stay up 'til 3 playing video games. I love sleep...and fluids...and not being sick.

The Camerata choir went to my home church this past Sunday. It was a little nerve-wracking. When I take someone to meet my family I'm always nervous that someone is going to say something weird or do something awkward, but this was like that feeling multiplied by an entire church family. It went well. Everyone talked about how appreciative the congregation was which I knew would happen since the music in my home church is a little lacking. It was good to be able to bring such a talented group of musicians to a place that could really appreciate it even if we were all a little under the weather and tired.

Well, I've got about an hour before musical practice, so I'm probably going to lay down and just be for awhile rather than do-ing all the time.

Blah

Being sick on campus is no fun. I am really happy that the sickness held off until right after my recital. Not only did it allow me to do the recital without coughing the entire way through, this week has been relatively low-stress so I've had plenty of time to rest. I've grown very accustomed to sleeping on the couch with the humidifier in my face. The only thing that really bums me out is that I'm not sure if I am going to go to my friends' wedding tomorrow if I still feel all congested. Maybe this is a divine way of making me slow down since I would have had to drive an hour and a half there, be at the wedding, go to the reception, then drive another hour and a half late at night to be back the next morning so Camerata could go to my home church. I haven't made the final decision yet, but as of right now I don't think I want to put myself through all that with this cold.

Here's to a weekend full of rest and lots of fluids. Woo hoo.

Done...?

Well it's all over with now. My recital, that is. It went really well. Honestly there were a number of bobbles, but one of my biggest strengths is just trucking through even when things get bad. Nothing got that bad, but there were at least two word mess-ups. I'm sure no one really noticed...or at least that's what they always say. I was really pleased with how much of my extended family was there. Most of my aunts and uncles and a couple cousins on my Mom's side were there as well as a couple of aunts from my Dad's side. I did get a little razzed because none of my brothers were there, but the amount of other family made me not even think about it.

I thought that finishing it would make me just collapse into a puddle when I got back to my room. I tried to collapse, but I was just too pumped up on adrenaline or something, so I couldn't sleep. I ended up eating way too much junk (almost an entire large pizza, leftover recital punch and cookies) and now I feel all gross. I think I was actually starting to feel sick before the recital, but it held off just long enough. That would have been quite a let-down, but I am glad that it all worked out.

Now I feel like everything should have been just downhill from Sunday, but I'm realizing how busy I actually still am. This weekend is another huge weekend with a wedding, Camerata at my home church, a paper due friday, hosting a prospective student Thursday night, and I was supposed to have Sunday night worship. I think we're going to cancel SNW, though. It will all work out in the end...it always does.

I need sleep.

Never-ending week

It seems like every day this week has started at 8 and not ended until 12 or so hours later. I will be so happy to have this recital behind me. I had my final dress rehearsal tonight and it went pretty well. I am doing some Gregorian chant with two other guys to open up the recital and I am somewhat nervous because one of the two guys has a sinus infection but won't let himself slow down to heal. It sounded o.k. today, but it definitely was not the best part of my recital. It does make me feel really good to get done with a rehearsal and have my voice professor hand me notes she took and there aren't any on an entire set because she thought they were absolutely beautiful. Every time we do the program it does get better. It is amazing to think where my voice has come over the past few years. Who knew I'd be able to hold out a high F to end a song and make it sound good?

Rehearsals for the musical are starting to get more and more intense. The show this year is called "The Spitfire Grill" and it's a little-known musical so all of the cast is having to learn all the music from scratch. It's not like doing a big show that everyone already knows the songs to. Plus it doesn't help that the songs seem to change keys every 10 bars. I do like that the show is really character driven. I don't think I'm the best actor, but I was happy that I got the character I did because he is not really like me at all so I get to stretch my abilities. The trick now is to make him gruff without makign the audience completely hate him.

I'm looking forward to the next few days of relaxing before my recital. I'm also looking forward to becoming a worthless, pizza devouring puddle after the recital.

Out of the shadows

The title of this post makes it sound like it's going to be real deep and scary, but it's just the opposite. Today is one of the first really nice days and it seems like the campus is instantly coming back to life. During the winter you get people outside doing sledding and of course walking to and from class, but other than that it just sometimes looks empty outside. (Granted this is probably coming from the fact that I hate snow and all things cold.) Today, however, the sun is out, it's warm, and there's a nice breeze. Whenever this happens it's like people come out of nowhere and all of a sudden there's people playing frisbee or tennis ball golf, people sunbathing, town people walking dogs, people on bikes, people doing homework outside. There's just an explosion of people coming "out of the shadows" of winter.

Awesome.

I didn't actually realize today was St. Patrick's day until we were walking to forum and I asked if everyone coordinated their outfits to match. I can't believe I spent almost half of this beautiful, holy day without celebrating. Maybe I'll play some frisbee golf with my roommate later. He's always asking me to go, but it always seems to be either negative seven degrees or raining. I'm not nearly as hard core as he is. But maybe tonight...


Oh yeah, I got elected to be May Day King. More on that later.

Back

Choir tour was good but exhausting. I was actually in a very weird place personally because I wasn't physically or mentally tired because we didn't do anything all day, but toward the end of the trip I found myself being socially exhausted. I realized that for the past 5 or 6 days I had hardly been alone at all. I'm the kind of person that needs to be alone to re-energize myself, so after I realized this I made a conscious effort to pull away from the group when I could. Other than that, I am always amazed by the newness that each new concert/worship can bring. It's always a new audience, but the songs are the same for us singing them. But, it always seemed like God was showing me new things through the texts and the music. I am excited to have the choir at my home church in a few weeks. We don't have the best music at our church, so I think it will be very energizing for a lot of people to hear worship music done well.

Rehearsals for the musical have started. I'm pretty pumped about this show because I finally get to play a character that isn't much like my personal character. It will pose a challenge to act like a real gruff guy, but it does make things more interesting. And I'm really excited about working with the cast we have. It seems like everyone was cast in a perfect role

In other big news, I found out today that I was elected as May Day King. I guess it's kind of a big deal. From what I understand, the position used to be known as "Most Popular Guy" which makes me feel sort of queezy to think that that is what I was chosen for, but it is an honor. Plus I get to help pick the frehsman May Pole dancers and I'm hoping that my nephew will be able to be the scepter bearer. Maybe I can get to be the cool uncle for once. But all that is in the future. Who really knows where my king-ship will take me. I'm doing my best to be humble about it, but I did spend at least half an hour talking myself up to my friends.

Passed

So, I passed my recital hearing. The joke is that now I get to stop practicing, but in reality it seems like nothing has actually changed. I still have to worry about trying to get people to dress rehearsals, makign sure everything is still memorized, coordinating dates, email-ing people...It never seems to end. I will be really happy when March 22nd at around 4 p.m. rolls around. It will actually be a bittersweet sort of thing because I am to the place now where I am actually invested in the music. I used to dread my French set, but now I am starting to connect with the texts and the music in new ways. I love the entire program, and I am excited for people to hear it.

We leave for tour in a little over a day now. This is only my second choir tour, but (now that I type this I think I already said this exact same thing) I am mega-pumped. I dwindled my to-do list down as far as I could before we leave so I don't have a bunch of stuff hanging over my head the whole time. Granted, there will be some stuff, but it should be a nice relaxing time. I am a little jealous of the people I hear who are taking trips to the Carolinas or Florida. I miss the warm weather. Hopefully we'll be following it as it moves east.

This semester has really made me start thinking more deeply about worship for a number of reasons; I am in my music ministry class, I got to attend the Calvin Symposium on Worship, I'm still working out what SNW should be like, etc. I am reading a book by one of my recently founded new favorite authors, Marva Dawn. She writes from a pretty reformed/conservative Lutheran background, and it makes it seem like all she writes about worship is in favor of traditionalism, but she is really pushing me to think more deeply about what worship really ought to be. She has helped open my eyes to the ways in which our worship has become neither for God or about God in big and subtle ways. She has challenged me to think of how the good news of Christ should form us in everything we do.

In a way this pushing has caused some discontent in my life. I sat through a Chapel service today and just felt frustrated most of the time because I didn't feel like what was happening was actually worship. There were so many little things that caught my attention enough that they pulled me away from doing what Dawn would say is true worship and "royally wasting" my time in the glory of God. Maybe I was just discontent because the day before there had been an Ash Wednesday service that I was able to connect with on a deep level and I had hoped that the season of Lent might be marked by more such reflective worship experiences. I know that I am not on the Chapel planning committee so I have no right to "complain", but these things are helping me to think more critically about the worship services that I do help plan.

I'll leave you with just something to mull over: One of the resources I have been reading talked about thinking critically about the words we actually say within worship and how they can get in the way. One of their critiques of many services was specifically of the first words used. Do they always have to be "good morning"? What sort of atmosphere would it create if we stopped utilizing colloquial greetings and jumped right into worship by hearing God's revelation to us through scripture? In short, how are the first words of a worship service setting the tone for the rest of the service?

looking ahead

I just typed an entire entry and then it gave me some sort of error, so this is round two:

I have my hearing for my recital on Monday where the professors get to tell me whether I can do my recital or not. Today was the first day I had my entire program memorized (all 17 songs), but all the words don't always come fast enough or in the right order. I'll probably be practicing all weekend. Yay! But it is comforting that this week my voice teacher heard all of my ensemble pieces and she seemed very pleased with the shape we were in, especially a whole month before my recital. I'll let you know how it goes.

In other news, Spring break is just around the corner. This is only my second spring break choir tour, but I'm completely pumped. We're headed to PA, VA, MD, and Washington which may all sound like lame spring break locations, but it's not really about the location. It is about getting to spend and entire week with a great group of people and leading people in worship almost every night. It's a great feeling about midway through the trip when we all have the entire program memorized and we can focus on the music rather than staring at our folders. Plus it's always fun to meet new people at home stays and do a lot of reading on the bus and it has been awhile since I've been to Washington.

Now if I can just make it to Friday it'll all be good.

Awhile

So it's been awhile and there's so much to fill in on, but I think one of the things that keeps me from updating is that I try to cram too much in to each post. So, this will be shorter:

Because we've been having trouble scheduling Sunday Night Worship, we had SNW in the morning this past Sunday. I was worried for a number of reasons including the fact that it seemed like no one was going to be around and my guitar player was busy that morning. I decided somewhat last minute that we were going to try doing a more traditionally liturgical service with all hymns and a brass ensemble accompanying the singing. There were so many new variables to the service that I was super nervous about how it would turn out. Added to this was the fact that all of our potential speakers were busy so I ended up having to speak. I had wanted to speak at some poiny anyway, but I had wanted to not be involved in any other part of the service when I did. I'm afraid that it felt like I was controlling everything, but I felt liek someone had to direct the hymns. I think my message went well. It kind of fizzled out toward the end because I really wanted to go to bed and finished before I felt really good about it.

In other news: Trayless Tuesday has taken over campus. In an effort to use less resources, food service has enacted trayless tuesdays and I think they hope to go completely trayless soon. I can't remember the last time an issue like this has been such a big deal here on campus. During the first Tuesday they tried this there was nearly a riot when one girl dropped a glass trying to take her stuff up to the dishroom. People were screaming and shouting "give her back her tray" or " this never would have happened with a tray". I personally think that going trayless helps me find out what is enough food rather than piling it all on, but on the other hand, it is inconvenient to try to carry everything. If nothing else, it is fun to see the campus so moved even if it is by something stupid like this.

Worth it

I got to experience working this last Saturday with the Presidential Scholarship Competition here on campus where they give out the biggest scholarships based on an essay competition. I worked in the sound booth and got to listen to the lecture for the topic of the essay, and then I got to listen to the Admissions and Financial Aid people give their presentations to the parents. It made me start to think about something that I touched on in my last post. How do we justify spending such large amounts of money on our education when there are people dying every day from the simple things we take for granted. I sat and listened to the Financial Aid people talk to the parents about funding their child's education and I just felt like this question was on a lot of people's minds (ok, so maybe they were less worried about dying people and more concerned about the economy).

There is no getting around the fact that it does cost a lot to go to college these days whether it's a large state school or a smaller private university like Bluffton. The question must be asked, then, how do we balance the moral demands for good stewardship of the gifts God has given us with an expensive education. In my last post I think I talked about taking advantage of all that Bluffton has to offer me, and, while I think that that is an important part of the answer, I also think that there is something bigger. In reflection, I believe that I can justify the money I spent here (or the debt I've accrued) based on the fact that I recognize that Bluffton has changed my life in such a way that it has pushed me to a desire to allow God to work through me to change my world. Bluffton has helped open my eyes to the call to build "God's universal kingdom" to the effect that I recognize my life means very little unless it is spent in the service of others. I could have gone to any other school, gotten my degree, found a job for my-self so that I can use my money to support my-self so that I can make my-self happy.

Sounds pretty empty to me.

Tonight we had a joint session of the senior capstone class that everyone has to take eventually. In this class we learn about ourselves and how we fit into a global community. We watched a movie called "The Motorcycle Diaries" that chronicled the journey of the Cuban revolutionary leader Che Guevera across South America. Along the journey he realized that he couldn't just see the poverty and the hurting of the world and say "oh that's too bad" and move on. Along the journey he realized that both his heart and his life must be among the poor and the hurting in order to change his world. Granted, his ideologies led him to use violence as a means of advancing the interests of the poor, but watching this movie helped me to understand the context out of which Guevera came: a cruel world that refused to listen to the cries of the poor.

Along the journey I have learned that a life lived only for myself is hardly a life at all. I have learned that my hope means nothing until it means something for everyone.

So when people ask me if it is worth the money to have attended Bluffton, I could talk about all the great friends I've made, the neat opportunities, or the interesting class discussions, but that answer would be incomplete. I guess for me to truly answer that question, I would have to ask it right back. Has Bluffton changed me in a way that affects everyone I come in contact with? Has Bluffton pushed me to bring salt and light to the hurting and broken places of the world? Have I been challenged to lead a life contrary to the popular notion that everything is all about me?

So, was it worth the money? You tell me.

One final hoorah

I finally made it to my final semester of undergraduate college. I'm realizing this more and more each day as I start to think about what my life will be like a year, or even a couple months from now. I wonder how much I've taken for granted the fact that I got to live within walking distance (if not in the same building) as most of my closest friends. How much have I taken for granted not having to cook for myself, or drive to work every day, or pay to do my laundry? Have I taken advantage of all the resources I have here at Bluffton? It makes me sound like a big nerd, but it wasn't until the end of last year that I really began to appreciate the awesomeness of having a great library available to me. I guess the closer I get to the end the more all the tough things fade away and I realize how great these past four years have been. I've only got a few months left, but I will make the best of it, learn all that I can, be crazy with my friends all I can, and maybe do all the free laundry I can.

I don't mean to sound depressing. In fact, this semester is looking like it's going to be one of the best of my Bluffton career. My classes are all pretty interesting without being completely over-challenging. Sunday Night Worship is going really well and I've got great out look for that. My senior recital seems to be coming together. I might even be trying out for the musical this year because I think I'll have so much time to spare at the end of the year. Added on top of all that, two of my closest friends are back this semester from their semesters abroad so I'm getting to spend time with them. And added on top of even that, the Marbeck food has been pretty good lately.

I've got so much to do and see and learn in these last months I can't waste even one more minute here. Don't worry, though, I'll be sure to keep you posted on all that I see, do, and learn.