Friday, September 28, 2007

Friday Again

It seems like Friday comes around faster every week, but here it is again and yet again I find myself missing my friends back at Bluffton. Don't get me wrong, there are great people here at the Project, but it seems like I just really started to get close with my Bluffton friends and then we have to take a semester away from each other. And then I hear about things happening at Bluffton that I just wish I could be there for my friends. And I've only gotten to see my two month old niece once since she was born. I never really get "homesick" like other people do, but I do just wish that I could have the best of all worlds. I wish I could have my Pittsburgh cake and eat it at home too.

Now I feel like I should put in a paragraph about how much I love Pittsburgh just to even things out. For part of my internship today my supervisor had to "train" me at playing Guitar Hero. Oh to live the life of a youth minister. I did pretty well, but I do lack the ability to actually physically rock out while playing. It throws me off. On Wednesday I led the groups in the game portion of the night. When I got there Wednesday afternoon Mike just asked me what game we were playing in the very sink-or-swim fashion that he is so good at. I ended up picking a game where the kids try to pop balloons tied to other peoples ankles with string. It was a good time; I just wish I had more balloons to play more. The middle schoolers did really well, but the high school kids were just loud and didn't want to pay attention. I tried the whole wait-obnoxiously-until-everyone-is-quiet philosophy but that just gave the kids the impression that we weren't doing anything so they could talk. I ended doing a lot of yelling (not at the kids, just toward them) which is probably the opposite of how it should have happened. Sink or swim baby, sink or swim. I'd say I at least doggy paddled.

For class we had to read a book about Hasidic Judaism to better understand the religious make-up of Pittsburgh. The book itself was somewhat dry at times, but it was interesting to learn about a whole other culture that I had no idea existed. I think a lot of Christians have this immediate instinct when they hear about Jews to just write them off because they just don't get it. Aside from the whole Christ thing (which happens to, in my opinion, be a big thing) the Hasidic Jews seems to have a lot to teach people. The term "hasidic" actually comes from the Hebrew word meaning "pious" and their whole philosophy revolves around getting back to a Judaism that actively pursues the commandments set forth by God rather than trying to inculturate themselves. We had a really interesting discussion in class about separationism in regards to religious beliefs. Personally I think the Hasidic Jews took things too far in that they restricted themselves from seeing the presence of God in things that didn't belong to "their world". But, on the other hand, I admired their devotion to their beliefs. I think that sometimes Christians have allowed themselves to become too incultured to the point where nothing makes us uncomfortable. We watch tv shows, we see movies, we listen to music that relies on vulgar, obscene, lewd, and even mildly pornographic media to get their points across and we don't even flinch. Nothing makes us uncomfortable anymore and that scares me a little. In the book one of the author talks about how Jewish woman have to cover their elbows and other seemingly unnecessary spots because it might tempt the men. She then quotes one of the Jewish boys saying that he finds women's elbows and ankles and the like attractive and the only reason that most people don't anymore is because society has pushed the envelope too far in what does and doesn't make us uncomfortable. I don't pretend to know how far is too far, but I do want to make a more conscious effort to become aware of what I think should make me uncomfortable being around. I could probably ramble about this all day, but I think everyone has had just about enough of the Jews for one Friday night.

I have been thinking about doing an Honors Project. It was recommended to me last year when I told the music faculty that I felt like I wasn't being challenged. It's true, that things like academics just come easy to me and I've never really had to try for any of my grades. I feel like this could be a great opportunity to push myself into learning about something that I actually care about, but another part of me is screaming at myself for even thinking of doing extra work for "fun". If I did it, I would probably do the topic on something like this (I've been thinking about this a lot): "Higher Ground: Exploring the Integration of Worship Music from the Ancient to the Modern". Or something like that. I would want it to be more than just the boring argument between sacred and contemporary worship music. I've spent my life immersed in both styles now and I have come to find beauty in everything from Gregorian chant to the latest David Crowder Band song. I want to explore how/if we can bring together the best elements of everything and learn from the past while pushing toward the future. See why I'm scared of attacking something so ambitious? I think that if I could pull this off that it would be one of the highlights of my life. Dag, that's a lot of work though. And, if I want to do this I should probably start formulating ideas now so I can be ready by the end of next year. Talk about fear of commitment. I think everyone has had enough of worship music for a Friday night.

Peace.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Settling In

A lot seems to have happened since my "day of rest" when I last posted. I'm starting to realize that I've already been here for almost 4 weeks, and it's already starting to settle in that I will have to leave the people I've met in about 11 weeks. Ok, so now that I actually did the math, 11 weeks seems like a lot longer than I originally thought. I feel better. Now that I think about it, it's more of a different kind of settling in. I think I'm just now starting to feel at home here. It must have taken those four weeks to get a routine down to the point where things seem comfortable, but then again that might be a bad thing because comfort is the antithesis of change. My whole purpose for doing this experience was to push myself to grow. I wanted to leave here feeling like I have tested my abilities, pushed myself farther than I ever have, and hopefully seen what I am actually capable of. I don't ever just want to be comfortable.

So, before this post takes on an even more unnecessarily insightful tone, I think I will switch back to update mode: We had praise band rehearsal again today, and I am happy to say that I am really excited about singing with this group tomorrow. Last time I rehearsed with the group I felt completely overwhelmed and under-prepared. Today was much more laid-back. It really helped that there was another guy singing my part with me who was able to tell me what I should be doing. I think before I was also afraid to just ask questions when I didn't know what I was supposed to be singing. At one point during rehearsal today the sound guy even said that he had to admit that we sounded amazing. Not only am I learning new styles and new songs, I think that Nikki, the music minster, is really giving me a good example of what it means to give God the glory through music. She is always reminding us that it is not about us or performing, but it is about pointing people toward something higher. I think I've also been struck by the fact that she wants the music to sound as good as it can, but more than anything else, she just wants to make sure that our hearts are sincere. I know that I am going to learn a lot from this internship with her even if most of my active work involved backstage administrative tasks.

Speaking of great internships, last Wednesday was exhausting but one of the best days of the semester so far. Even though I'm doing a lot of administrative work which sounds boring I am glad that between my two supervisors they keep me busy the whole time. So, I did a lot of that sort of stuff throughout the day, but then the afternoon was spent preparing for and running the first youth group of the year. I'm starting to learn that youth ministry involves a lot of random tasks. We "tested out" the skiball machine for a good twenty minutes to make sure it was working. I also got to put up more holds for the rock climbing wall and of course we had to try it out for a good fifteen minutes. Then the kids started to come. I was pretty nervous just because I felt like Sunday School hadn't gone so well for me. I wasn't sure if I was going to get introduced this time so I just did my best to meet as many kids as I could however awkward that turned out to be. I showed a few kids what was up at the ping pong table. It's a good thing that Middle School kids are right at my skill level. I did finally get introduced formally along with the other leaders. I think that helped me not to feel like just some creepy guy wandering around the youth room. Throughout the night we ate some food, listened to Mike give a devotion and played some volleyball. All in all I think it was a great time. I'm excited about the possibility of becoming even more involved. Mike has told me that he wants me to eventually do everything that he does like leading games, giving devotionals, etc. I'm starting to feel comfortable, but I know that I am ready to start pushing myself.

Tonight I had to attend a traditionally African American church service. It was interesting and powerful to say the least. We were there for nearly two hours, but it honestly didn't feel that long. I was truly impressed with the welcoming spirit, the powerful music, and the inspiring message. I thought going in that it would be weird being white and attending a predominantly black church service, but the only weirdness I felt was when they made the visitors stand so they could pray over us. Even that in all it's awkwardness was a very nice gesture on their part. The service as a whole almost makes me reevaluate my own church-going traditions. Why isn't there more Spirit and power in the serviced I usually attend? Why don't people respond to the worship in my home churches? Why don't I see a large number of people taking vigorous notes and making marks in their Bibles when my preacher preaches? It seems like in people's minds this sort of behavior is limited only to black people and their traditions. Personally I think they're on to something here that we should all share in. If nothing else it does make for a good laugh trying to picture that scene at my home church. Ha!

Monday, September 17, 2007

A day of rest

Because I "work" on Sundays and Saturdays I get to have all day Monday off. It's really nice to be alone for awhile. That's one of the things that I have definitely had to adjust to being here in Pittsburgh. Back at Bluffton last year I had my own room as an RA. I think I just got a little too used to have my own space and being able to kick people out of my room if they started to annoy me. It's weird to think that I chose to get a room with two other people back at Bluffton. It's a delicate balance. When I was living alone as an RA I felt like I was missing out on some of the great college roommate things. Now I will have an overabundance of roommate. Living in here at the project for the semester has given me a little taste of what that will be like. Here's what I've learned so far:

-dirty clothes start to smell like death if left unattended for too long
-other people put random things in the refrigerator and forget about them
-no matter how much fun other people think their ringtones are, you will eventually learn to hate them
-there's never a bad time to have a dance party
-some people can magically function on a ridiculously fewer number hours of sleep than you

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have learned to take advantage of my Mondays alone.
The student ministries at my internship is finally starting up. This past Sunday was their first Sunday School time. They have their program set up way differently than my home church. Honestly it hardly feels like they have Sunday School at all. It's only about 25-30 minutes of quick bible lesson and prayer. Oh, and donuts too. It's never really Sunday School without the donuts and generic pink juice. For my first week I don't think I did very well. I think Mike was operating under the sink or swim philosophy where I was supposed to make my own presence known and introduce myself to every kid there by the end of the half hour. If this was true, then I probably sank rather than swam. It was weird for me not to be introduced by anyone to anyone. I think the kids all thought I was some creepy guy hanging around the youth room. At least it can only go uphill from here. I'm sure it's all a learning experience.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

A Real Intern Now

Today seems like it was my first real day of my internship. By that I mean I actually had to do real work. I think I'll go to sleep tonight still thinking "Hi, this is Mark from Eastminster calling on behalf of Nikki Porter and the Judah Project." It was really hard for me at first to make so many phonecalls. First of all, I didn't really know enough about the program to answer anyone's questions, and second of all I just simply hate talking on the phone. They, as in my supervisors, assure me that phone calling is an important part of exploring ministry. As long as I don't have to be good at it, that's fine. I think there was more than one occassion where I didn't know whether a name was a male or female name and fumbled awkwardly to come up with a non-gender specific term.

Now I'm just hanging out at the church until the youth leader meeting. It's kind of nice that I'm such a big deal here. I have my own phone extension, they gave me keys, and I have access to a computer. Plus there's always the rock climbing wall right outside the office. I'm pretty sure that's the trump card against everyone else.

One of the biggest challenges of the Pittsburgh Semester is probably going to be cooking for myself. Don't get me wrong, I love to cook, but the fact that I actually have to plan and make time for meals is really draining. It really makes me appreciate my mother a whole lot more. (She may be reading this.) Plus, I have to live off $240 a month. I caculated that out to about $4.50 a meal since they provide breakfast foods. I started fasting once a week this summer too so it really come out to about $5 a meal in the end. Sure, that's enough for a decent fast food meal, but I can't eat that every day. I did run about five miles the other because I got lost and didn't want to stop and walk in a neighborhood I wasn't familiar with, but I would have to do that every day if I ate that much MikkieD's.

I actually have something to do now, so I'll end here. Peace, Mark

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Just Like Friends

So I've always watched the TV show Friends and seen them waste all their time at that coffee shop. Now I am one of those people. I had to get out of the Project so I could read so I decided to head down to the local coffee shop and just hang out for awhile. I'm sure you can tell I'm putting off the reading, though, but who can pass up free Wifi right?

Back at Bluffton it seemed like the only "cross cultural" experience I had living on campus was seein the weird things that people put on their cottage cheese. (I'm a sugar man myself.) But now that I'm here in Pittsburgh where there's always something going on I feel like I've got culture coming out my ears. First it was the ethnic restaurants. Then it was the weird music my roommate listens to. Now before coming to hang out here at the coffee shop I stopped by a Jazz/Poetry festival. You can't see it right now, but I'm snapping my fingers in approval of myself. I think the thing I've realized by experiencing all this so far is that it's important to try things, but that doesn't mean you have to like them. You can take the Bluffton boy out of Bluffton, but you can't take the Bluffton out of the Bluffton boy. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really glad I've started to experience new things, but that doesn't mean I'm going to like them. I appreciate the fact that other people like these "cultural" things. Who knows, maybe I'll try something completely off the wall and love it. I suppose that's what a cross cultural experience is all about.

My internship is going really well. On both Wednesday and then Friday morning I spent most of the day with Mike, the youth pastor. We get along really well and I really feel like he's trying hard to be my Yoda. The other day he explained a model of ministry that he has found helpful to him in thinking about how he runs his program. It's just stuff like that where he takes the time to really teach me the things he has learned that make me realize how great this internship will be for me. On the other hand, though, I atteneded my first praise band practice today and I was just blown away by how out of my league I felt. I really admire Nikki, the music minster's, leadership and knowledge of everything related to leading worship, but it is completely unlike anything I've experienced before. I felt really bad because she has me singing with the group and I was completely lost most of the time. Added on to that is the fact that I am getting horribly sick. It's not to the point where I don't think I can add anything to the group, but I just wonder where the bad outweighs the good. If nothing else I know I will leave with a much bigger appreciation for gospel music. It was weird when one of the songs we were doing was a song I've sang in Chapel or SMW a hundred times and I was the only band member who knew it. It also did make me realize how simple some non-gospel praise and worhsip songs can be. With the gospel songs it seems like there is always at least three parts. I think this is one of those "cultural" things that I will leave Pittsburgh really liking. I just hope I can get a better grasp on it.

Some friends from Bluffton stopped by this weekend on their way to a wedding. It was really good to see at least some of the people I really miss back at Bluffton. I really hope I can make it back to B-town sometime this semester. I probably should start reading before it gets too late and the Benadryl I took starts to kick in.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

A new, great city

Two entries in one week? That's absurd! Well, I guess that's what you get when you live in a place like Pittsburgh where there's always something going.

Yesterday they had a guy who went through the Pittsburgh Project's after school program (who is in college now) come and show us all around for a day on the town. They guys and the girls split up for the day with separate leaders. The girls went and did girly things like take a boat ride and eat at the Cheesecake Factory. The guys, on the other hand, we spent the day visiting the strip malls and lots of little stores along Carson Street. It was a good time. We ate at this college joint that had erroneously big portions of french fries. I was just glad to be eating American food again. The day before we had gone to an India restaurant where I actually ate authentic food instead of wimping out. It was ok, but I think I felt the after effects for two days straight. All good now.

Today I went to church at the place where I am intern-ing. It really made me even more excited to be working there. The worship as a whole really seemed to be very spirit-led and sincere. The music minister that I will be working with did an amazing job focusing everyone on praising God and just simply giving everything to Him through song. I think I will be able to learn a lot from her.

This afternoon we had a cookout at the house of one of the Pittsburgh Project employees. They are very culturally, environmentally, socially aware people. Really that's just a nice way of saying that they're very "hippie" (whatever that means minus the drugs). It was really cool to talk to them and learn about their experience working with the Project. They were both vegetarians, so we got to have mushroom burgers among other things. I ate half of the burger, but the rest of the homemade vegetarian friendly food was really good. Especially the homemade salsa.

Tonight we are going to go to an emerging church called The Open Door. Kyle interviewed there, and he told us all about how great he thinks it is. I'm excited to go. I just really like exploring different styles and ways of worship. Tomorrow is Labor Day and we don't have anything scheduled. I think we're going to all hang out as a group tonight since no one has to get up for anything. It's really interesting to see how people who, at Bluffton, wouldn't normally hang out or even hardly talk to each other are growing so close here in this place. That exploration of community is just another thing I love about living here. Hopefully we don't all start to gnaw at each other, but I guess that's what community is all about: learning to live amidst all our quirks and differences. Time to head off to the Open Door.

Peace.